i stay true to my word.
Funny how easy it is this time compared to the last time.
Funny how easy it is this time compared to the last time.
I surprise myself once again at my capability. I dont even know how i managed to do this, once i never even deemed it possible. The idea was so far fetched to me, and though i wanted to, i really just well- couldnt.
But look at me now.
Look at what progress i've made. Progress? thats rather ironic since this is rather backwards. But yes, PROGRESS. I never thought i was the one who would be able to turn my back on all of THAT. what WAS there. and i've proved myself wrong, havent i?
I'd like to blame it all on somebody else, for pushing me to my limit, for making me decide what i have decided, for making me do what i have done. But really, it was all me. and i can see it rather clearly in black and white now. All laid in front of me. It was ME.
and no one deserves to be blamed. =) But im happy now, more than i've been in months. Not because i am decided, because decided - i was before. Im happy because i've done it, at long last and i feel more at ease and more set free than EVER.
it was nice of you to have been nice to me in the past, to have said all those things you said even though you didnt have to. You probably meant it when you said it, but they are meaningless to me now because i see- though you meant it then, you never stood by your words. so i wont say you lied.
And dont say sorry when you dont mean it. Because then it would have no meaning to it. So whats the point? All those 'sorry's accumulated to amount to nothing and so now your 'sorry's dont mean anything to me anymore. Thats just sad. How i've lost my faith in you, when there used to be so much there.
I'd like to blame it all on somebody else, for pushing me to my limit, for making me decide what i have decided, for making me do what i have done. But really, it was all me. and i can see it rather clearly in black and white now. All laid in front of me. It was ME.
and no one deserves to be blamed. =) But im happy now, more than i've been in months. Not because i am decided, because decided - i was before. Im happy because i've done it, at long last and i feel more at ease and more set free than EVER.
it was nice of you to have been nice to me in the past, to have said all those things you said even though you didnt have to. You probably meant it when you said it, but they are meaningless to me now because i see- though you meant it then, you never stood by your words. so i wont say you lied.
And dont say sorry when you dont mean it. Because then it would have no meaning to it. So whats the point? All those 'sorry's accumulated to amount to nothing and so now your 'sorry's dont mean anything to me anymore. Thats just sad. How i've lost my faith in you, when there used to be so much there.
So much of it. Really.
One of my closest. Never again, i assure you that much.
..It was hurtful to say the least
but now its okay. A NEW DAY HAS COME! *celine dion song plays. ZOMG!* who cries anymore? [not since a few months back when i was decided x) and i am PROUD] i wouldnt say this is not worth crying over, because it is. And i HAVE cried over it. So yeah! who'd want to cry over it AGAIN!?!? *BOOORIINNNG~~ bleh*
not anymore. period.
its easier to say goodbye now
its easier to say goodbye now
dont be confused though, i still love you. :)
i always will.
i always will.
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