Older than before.

So I turned 22 this month. Oddly enough, 21 is supposed to be the defining age but 21 felt very much like 20, and 20 felt very much like 19 and 19 felt identical to 18, there really wasn't a turning point then and I didnt understand what the whole fuss was about. Sadly, I do now. So turning 22 for me was basically my 21. 

Signs that I am older than I was before.
  1. There is a cleft between my teeth that food gets stuck in.
    I SWEAR, this was never there before this year. It deeply saddens me.
  2. I have now started work and have no life.
  3. I type serious emails at work and use as little of 'I' as possible because everyone else does it.
    (e.g. Seeking approval for blah. Appreciate assistance on this. Would like to blah.)
    I guess adding 'I' in front of things makes it personal? I HAVE NO IDEA, it befuddles me but I shall just go with the flow, my brain cannot comprehend at the moment but I am slowly getting used to it.
  4. I am aware of all my expenses and have started keeping track.
    LRT 4.60
    Lunch 15.00
    And have started saving up + give money to my parents.
     
  5. T.G.I.F actually means something to me.
     
  6. No time to watch series or catch up with friends.
I miss the times when things were simpler. But all in all, I am happy where I am today. I feel so lucky and so blessed and I believe that I have everything that I have ever wanted right here with me. So here's to 22. (:

x

Games Maker

Okay guys, Im so sorry ive neglected the blog for awhile now, no promises on updating it more often ): the blogging flame has kind of died down and I find I dont have the time (or rather, cant be bothered to spare the time NUUOOHH). Also, this new blogger system makes it harder for me to post photos D: so this shall be a photoless post... do view facebook for photos though :D go on, dont be shy! :D I shall now write a long and boring post because i feel boring and spent today HAHA :p

So my Olympic games maker journey has come to an end! It has been long and tiring, but also very rewarding. I got to meet and mingle with people I never would have in my life if it wasnt for this opportunity. Its crazy really! To work with people whose lives seem world's apart and how we all get along splendidly (: It was good fun working together with the army guys and royal air force people, talking to the older uncles to the young ones that dropped out of school and didnt know what else to do so went into the army. Its a little strange, sometimes it feels as if i fell into a movie when they tell me their stories, but i guess the movies get their material from somewhere. I worked together with G4S (security) folk and there was this one boy who was doing it part time and told me he's the only one in his neighbourhood to go to university and that everyone was so surprised. I think I must have looked at him in awe, good on you. Where does he find that drive and determination?

It was also really amazing to work together with the other Games Makers. I believe it was very smart of the Olympic Committee to hire volunteers for the event! (: Almost everyone is always on high spirits and have a lot of enthusiasm throughout the day. I think we, out of all the workforce, understand the most what it takes to make the games. Everyone is always eager to please, and friendly, and smiling. We're constantly moving about, dancing, laughing, chatting to spectators making them feel happy too! (: Its been wonderful getting to know and work with these people! There were so many working folks that used up ALL their annual leave just to be there and volunteer. That screams dedication!!! :D And spectators are so sweet (: They always turn to us and say thank you, or good job, or thank you for the time that you have given up for this! or they tell us they think we're amazing! :D

I've heard so many spectators ask 'WHY ARE THEY SO HAPPY?!' HAHAHAHA :D And when I turn someones frown upside down! Its such a nice feeling! (: I also think its so cute when people feel so rushed and anxious when they're going through security and have to take out everything from their pockets etc, i always go, 'its okay! you can take your time!' XD and so now i know how it feels like to be on the other side! ohohohoho (: Ive received hugs from people, and high fived kids (though one high five was special cause he was sitting on his dad's shoulders and then he held out his hand so I was the one who had to run to him to high five him. WHAT A BOSS), and even danced with an uncle in the line LOLs. Its been a good run.

I remember reading on the security white board, 'tiredness last for a short while, memories last forever.' (: The 8 hour shifts did take a lot out of me at the end of the day, but im glad i took part in this, its been a fun ride :D Thank you Olympics Committee for everything! :D

ps. on the last day of my shift, I got 2 free tickets into the Olympic Park! :D So my boy managed to come in, for the first time! I've been trying to get tickets online but I failed to do so cause they've all sold out. So that really was a stroke of luck!! Thank you to my favourite boy, for sending me every morning for my shift, and waiting for me at the end of my shift to send me home so I never have to be alone. Thanks for putting up with my tired self and being the best boyfriend I could ever wish for.

x

#icanrelate: Keratosis Pilaris

I've had Keratosis Pilaris from as young as i can remember. Wasn't born with it, but I think I got it sometime when I was still in primary school. These little skin coloured bumps just appeared around my tummy area one day and I didn't know what it was. They didn't itch or anything, they were just THERE. I remember running up to my mom when she got home and showing it to her and asking her what it was. First reaction was a little bit of surprise and 'i don't know, go ask your father.' So i ran to where my daddy was and asked him, and he didnt know either. So, since it didnt itch or anything, we just left it for a few days in hopes that it would go away. But then it didnt. So i remember going to the doctors and asking the doctor about it. I dont remember clearly anymore because it was so long ago, but i remember him saying that there was nothing we could do about it and it had something to do with my sweat glands... so that was that. I went home, i made my peace with it. Ugly tummy skin, okay. okay. okay. Somehow, even when i was a kid, it did matter, but i didnt really let it bother me because, hey, no one is going to know anyway right? and hopefully it goes away, right?

So many years passed. And it stayed. Ive only told a couple people about it before, because i've always felt self conscious about it, so its not like I go around showing people HEY LOOK, TINY BUMPS INNIT AWESOME. yeah, no. Not awesome. But I did show a couple of friends, I guess in some way, trying to comfort myself with ITS NOT THAT HORRIBLE through seeing the reactions of people. I've gotten a few, 'how come like that one?', 'Its not so bad, I cant really see it unless I look closely', so its not that bad I guess. But it did make me feel like a weirdo because I didnt know anyone else who has the condition, but hey, never mind. And then one day I went somewhere with a couple of friends and i saw that a friend of mine had it too! TT For the first time, I felt like I was not alone, its sad that he had it as well, but it also consoled me a little bit. And then another friend saw and made the comment that he's dirty and didn't shower D: So that deflated my self esteem a little bit and I tried to defend him with 'I dont think cleanliness has anything to do with it' but at the same time, I wasnt going to offer myself up and say I had it too. Cause it made me feel kind of dirty and gross then ):

But again, never mind. I made my peace with it. And I figured, anyone who likes me is going to like me for me right? This shouldn't matter right? And its not SO BAD. But then recently, its been getting worse. Ive been getting more spots and its even spread to my arm and its freaking me out. So I googled it (not that i never googled it before, but last time, i.e. many years ago, it didnt pull up any results) and the words Keratosis Pilaris came up. And I was like, THATS IT. THATS WHAT I HAVE. WHAT I HAVE, HAS A NAME. And a lot of sources said that there is no cure. You may grow out of it and that 1 out of 4 people in the world has it and that it is hereditary. No, nothing to do with cleanliness, its just your body producing too much keratin. OH YOU BODY, YOU. WHY YOU SO EFFICIENT EH!?!? =.= But basically. It was depressing to see the words NO CURE, but at the same time, again, comforting to know, NOT ALONE. NOT MY FAULT. I came across this website that sells Kerafree, which is apparently this lotion thats supposed to cure this, but Ive read reviews and its pretty mixed. Some says its been making the condition worse, some says it helps, i dont know. Also, its very pricey, so ive decided i dont want to take the risk, considering the price and the mixed reviews. So never mind.

But, upon more googling, I found this video,

I dont know if you watched it but basically the girl says she uses this cleansing scrub and moisturizes and it cures her skin! :D So I bought the scrub online and have been using it. The ones of my arm are not as bad anymore though the ones around my tummy area are still there, but hopefully they'll go away with time. (: But just in case anyone else out there has it as well, hopefully this can help you as well, or you could alternatively always try Kerafree, link here, its 40pounds (: It was so nice to read the comments on the youtube video that it made me laugh and kind of want to cry, because those people suffer the same condition and everything they say resonates with me and how I've always felt. Its so nice to feel like you're not alone. And im so glad I've found someone who cares for me and doesn't give a shit about this KERATOSIS PILARIS and doesn't allow me to call it ALIEN SKIN, although i still always do. :O Thank you, boy

Alright, for all you people out there who have keratosis pilaris aka chicken skin (I had no idea they called it that), #icanrelate. And its not the worst thing in the world (: Its okay. *patpat* For all those of you who don't, GOOD FOR YOU and please dont make mean comments about it D: It really eats into someones self esteem and thats not very nice. People should always, ALWAYS watch what they say. Because a offhanded comment does still really hurt. But anyway.

x Back to studying (:

Give sparingly?


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I wish there wasn't so much I had to think about. You put your faith in people and you expect them to deliver. But this is the real world, people have their self interests at heart, its about time you learned. But im still that very same girl, the one who got her milk stolen from the fridge but opened and closed the fridge over and over again, in disbelief. Hoping the next time she opened the fridge, that bottle of milk would be there. Ah, my bad, I just missed it, you were sitting there all along, no one took you. But to no avail. 

When will you learn? 

Perhaps its time to accept the truth of it, people are fundamentally selfish, heck. Im selfish too, i know. I admit it. But when im counting on someone, and i know someone is counting on me, i do my best. And it is human nature to expect reciprocity, else we just sit at one corner, pouting, feeling upset. You get what you give, so give good, right? Or is it not? The more you take the more you gain? Give sparingly? At a loss for words. I hate it when people let me down. Oh, who does? I hate it when i start losing faith in people, when in my mind i start painting bad images and seeing people in a negative light. But its hard, 

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People like you and me, its sad isn't it? You told me, that's life. That's just what happens, I had to learn it the hard way too. Next time just be wary. I don't like it. I don't like it one bit. It would be so much easier if everyone was just nice and you wouldn't feel like a fool to place your trust in people. Its so hard isn't it? Sometimes it feels as though you can't trust anyone but yourself. People let you down. Is it worth it? 

On a brighter note, conversation with my sister today, 
"Hahahaa ooh so unfair, I thought I was cool" 
"Ohohohohoho Sorry to break it to you, but I'm cooler." 
 "Im like a snowman. You're just a spec of snowflake that forms the whole of me." 

:D HAHAHAHAHAHA Im so lame but I make myself laugh. Oh my. 

Back to readings (: 
x

Transition period

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2 papers down, 3 more to go. GYAAAARR!!! 

but hey, it'll be over soon (: a little strange to think that this is going to be my last school exam ever. Ever. ever. unless I decide to take on Master's later on, which i doubt i will. And i'll be graduating soon. My. I feel old. All smiles. 

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Cool blue m&m totally checking me out. 

How you doing, yourself (; 

I cannot believe im turning 22 this year. Looking at my own picture im like, NO WAY. that girl looks 16. yeah. no. ): YOU'RE OLD NOW MAY. OOOOOOLD. but i'll start acting my age when i graduate, and step into the working world and be a working girl D: NUUOOHHH. I REFUSE. i will be

FOREVER YOOUUUNNNNGGG~ TTv
 *abrupt end*

This still gets me, every time. 
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p.s. I hate the new blogger settings ): I don't know how this shit works. ):
 p.p.s Will be done by the 12th of June. Cannot wait!!

On my list of things to do

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  1. Relearn to drive (I'm thinking crash course with dad every evening after work from the time i get home till work starts! crossies!)
  2. Continue to volunteer, perhaps be involved in events (: that would be very, very nice.
  3. Take up belly dancing D: wanted to do this for years now. (haha brenda, i still remember that postcard i sent you XD)

Okay, until I think of more, this will be it. Im not very good at making goals and resolutions. If you all recall, every year my new years resolution is TOTAL WORLD DOMINATION. but, yeah, i think this is an improvement? a little bit more realistic this time, dont you think?

o wow. this girl has grown?

C:

x