To state that it has been awhile since my last blog entry
would be an understatement haha. Clearly it has been years!!
Well, the good thing about have a wiiiide gap between blog
entries is that now I can share my learnings these past years (imagine a wise
old man, stroking his beard) with past me.
Dear Youngling – the gap between your teeth that you thought
was a sign of you growing up was really just your wisdom tooth on your bottom
jaw growing perpendicularly. As it had not touched your other teeth at that
point yet, there was a gap where food kept getting stuck in that annoyed you
endlessly… well, that is, until it grew further and actually starting pushing
your other teeth that all started to hurt like hell because they were being
pushed out of place in your gums.
You started to have dreams of your teeth falling out that
was heck unpleasant and thanked God in the morning when you realized they were
still firmly in place. Because of your fear of seeing dentists, you held in
there and dealt with the pain, until one day you really couldn’t anymore that
you went into an empty meeting room during working hours and called up a
dentist to make an appointment to check your teeth out.
The x-ray scan of your jaw freaked you out when you saw both
the wisdom tooth on your jaw growing 90 degrees to your other teeth – also when
the dentist said that the root was wrapped around your nerve and that there was
a 1% chance of your face going paralyzed if the extraction did not go smoothly.
You searched up the best wisdom tooth extraction dentist
that you could find over the internet, that had RAVE reviews. RAVE REVIEWS! And
booked an appointment. You were a nervous wreck. There was a very pretty nurse
there who could tell how nervous you were and kept comforting you with words of
encouragement throughout the horrible session. Even the dentist got nervous
because you were nervous (IM SORRY, IM SO SORRY, BUT IT WAS HELLA SCARY) and he
injected your gums many times with the good-ol’ numbing stuff just in case.
You expected it to feel like nothing, but you could feel how
much pressure the dentist was applying to drill your tooth, and there was a
very weird prickly sensation that you couldn’t decide if it was pain or not but
it felt weird and you were afraid it meant something was wrong. Clearly the
tingling prickly sensation WAS pain, but numbed down to such a subdued level it
was just a little sensation – but nevertheless, being your FIRST TIME having a
wisdom tooth extracted, with the words HALF YOUR FACE PARALYZED looming over
your head, the whole ordeal was a nightmare.
The dentist later said (after successful extraction - with
no credits to you because you were probably the lousiest, most difficult
patient he ever had) that you should be administered under GA for your next
extraction because it was too stressful for him, knowing how scared you were.
WHOOPS.
Well, you have always been a worry wart. IM SORRY. IM SORRY.
I SAID IM SORRY. BUT IT WAS HELLA SCARY OK!
Truth is, I tell you this story now and guess what – there is
a gap forming on the right side of my jaw. The other wisdom tooth has come out
to play. I really don’t want to go through that again but I know I will have no
choice – but right now I am putting it off. I don’t know how long I can put it
off for. Logic and sensibility is telling me to go extract it now but my fear
and worry is telling me IT CAN WAIT FOREVER. And IT WILL STOP GROWING CAUSE MY
TOOTH IS JUST SMART LIKE THAT. And CAN IT WAIT TILL AFTER CHINESE NEW YEAR and
AFTER MY HOLIDAYS and WHY NOT JUST STOP GROWING IM SERIOUS. IT COULD HAPPEN
RIGHT?!
So yes, I am putting it off for a month. I will extract this
in March – I think. I pray it does not give me any trouble in the next month.
PLEASE BODY, PLEASE BE SMART.
I’ve heard other people’s experiences about getting their
wisdom tooth extracted but none quite as harrowing as mine – because apparently
everyone else I know is much cooler than myself. HAHAHAHAHA they felt the
prickly sensation, identified with it, and were like *shrug* while I was
panicking in the seat with stupid thoughts running through my mind. THANK YOU
BRAIN. THANK YOU.
Also, I have mixed thoughts about going under GA because there
are also horror stories about body falling asleep but actually mind still awake
and can still feel ALL THE PAIN? OMG WHAT THE FREAK! And stories about NOT
BEING ABLE TO WAKE UP?
That’s way worse than going through the whole ordeal – so okay,
okay. DEEEEEP breath. I will probably have to go through it again one more
time, maybe with a different dentist because I don’t think the last one will
take me anymore (shy) even though I thought he was brilliant. IM STILL SO SORRY
BUT IT WAS HELLA SCARY. But for now, let’s just be happy and smile and pray at
least I don’t have to go through it for another month or so, yes?
Anyway, what triggered this entry was me reading through old
entries. I scroll through them once in awhile and it is always nice to
reminisce old days, and read through them from the words of my younger self :) I guess I just want to
continue on with this online journal so that I have something to read when I am
older than I am now – to reflect on these days and my silliness/ wiseness (HA! Wiseness
isn’t even a word) and remember how it felt living through these days and how
happy my days are, ALTHOUGH SOMETIMES HELLA SCARY, but what is life without a
bit of drama, eh?
And above all else, to love myself and remind myself that
there is nothing to be ashamed of! HAHAHA One of the reasons I hold back from
blogging – aside from being lazy – is that because I am working now, I am
afraid of random colleagues stumbling across this blog (it really is not hard
to find) and reading all the stupid thoughts that run through my mind.
I am not ashamed of myself, never have been, I am just thick
skinned like that and I love my stupidity as much as my smartidity – KIDDING – I
meant intelligence but I really wanted to rhyme. But I guess we all want to
maintain some sort of professionalism, especially at work, and colleagues
reading this may suddenly view me a little differently? I don’t know.
Well I have stumbled across colleague’s blogs before and had my fits full of laughter because I thought it was so adorable and my views didn’t really change. Then again, I can’t speak for the general population and we LIVE IN DAYS FULL OF PEOPLE READY TO LAY ON THEIR JUDGEMENT. So I don’t know. I dread having to one day make this blog private, because I don’t like the idea of making anything private – I AINT GOT NO NOTHING TO HIDE!! But I guess to protect worklife, one day, I may have to.
Also with my memory I am afraid of losing the password for
this blog and NEVER BEING ABLE TO ACCESS AND READ MY PAST ENTRIES EVER AGAIN so
there’s THAT risk of going private. Let’s see.
Till then.
My world is still pretty much filled with candy canes,
rainbows and unicorns.
And I still love everyone VERY MUCH.
x
