Not an EMO post

Its funny how i never used to be this way
and i dont know why i've gotten this way
and sometimes i want it to go back to the way i was

But only sometimes.
Sometimes.

Because most of the time,
This way suits me just fine.

I cant help feeling though, that i have lost a part of me. That it was broken so long ago that i cant even remember what it was like. And since i cannot recall, how can i fit everything back together?

O.O
Puzzling.

Perhaps it just takes time. Its like i found myself, and then lost it. Found it again, and then lost it. And now im on a search again. =__="its like life is so adamant to not let me truly find myself so i would be forever in search.

That pisses me off.

I feel like im forever afraid now. I know i wont stay this way. But for now at least, I am always afraid. I'd rather not take a step into it, because im afraid. I'd rather look the other way, because im afraid.

I dont want to be afraid.

I never used to be afraid.

I like the put the blame on others. Because its human nature to do so. To not assume responsibility. You made me this way! YOU DID!

but in fact, it was me.

All you did was break me.
All i had to do was gather up the pieces.

But i did not.

I left it there to rot.
I left it there to be forgotten.

And now i cant remember.

.
What now?

The world stands still. My head is still spinning.
How about another ride on them teacups?

What say you?

Ps. Some people have all the luck. They dont even know it. They dont see whats standing right before them, they never see. These people are blind. They dont even know it. I wonder if luck ever runs dry. If it does,

What would you do then?

I do wonder.

Btw, i do know my posts seem rather contradictory, but it really is not. And maybe you dont understand my posts. =__=" yeah okay, i understand that. My posts usually have double meanings anyway. I'll probably not understand it in a few months time. BWAHAHHAA

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