im beginning to feel really super sucky again. Its like i want to give up TRYING already, cuz well, i already HAVE been (trying that is), for WAAAAAY too long. but i CANT because i know that if i DONT try NOONE WILL. and that just SUCKS. i really dont know what to say anymore. i just feel so stuck. its like day by day, everything gets lesser and lesser and i just dont knoooow. everythings all jumbled up now. i just want to GIVE UP, once and for all. you know? GIVE UP. GAAAAAAAHH! its depressing, sad.. pathetic even. But no one shall know of this. and so, i shall not seem pathetic at all. sigh. i am a SAD SAD NO LIFE NO HOPE PERSON!!!
but enough about that
havent been blogging the past few days, because well.. SIMPLE - theres nothing to blog about. But i guess i really should just post a lousy crappy post, so that the blog doesnt look so abandoned, cold and lonely. =) SO HERE I AM WITH a NONSENSE POST! WHHEEE!! SO FUN HOR!??!
*inhales, DEEEEP BREAATHHH*
went for concert rehearsal yesterday, doesn't feel like yesterday though. Today was SO LONG and BORING it felt like ages. so really, the rehearsal felt like it happened months ago. when really, it was just YESTERDAY. As all y'all know, im really self conscious, and seriously, have REALLY LOW SELF CONFIDENCE when it comes to singing...... in public. So thanks to all those who gave me LOTSA LOTSA support (sara, brenda and suping + bryan) and SPECIAL THANKS TO KAREN DARLING who went there for meeeehhh. *grins, i love you lots!* told her of my dilemma and pleaded she be there for me, cuz i seriously feel better. i kept LOOKING at her when it was our turn to perform. x) *hugs and kisses*
I went off key at 'ON THE FLOOR ANYMORE CAUSE' *dammit* lol, the fellow performers were really sweet though, i heard them cheer. haha! sara went off timing too, but oh well, OUR FIRST TIME WITH MIKE. its EXCUSABLE!! (bleh) annoyed that i went off key though, cuz i kept PRACTICING THAT STUPID LINE OVER AND OVER before i went up. *GRR* DISAPPOINTING. i guess i wasnt so scared and conscious then cuz well there werent many people i knew there. *phew thank goodness* i wonder how i'll fare on the real day. *dies* i'd probably DIE on stage or something.
the rehearsal took place in bukit bintang boys school. I wanted to use the loo, but started doubting the existence of a girls bathroom in a boys school. =__=" bryan asked these boys and they said there was, but it was locked up. have ta get the key and stuff. i thought my chances of going was like.. close to zero and started considering the possibility of getting nervous on stage and peeing in my pants. WHICH IS REALLY STUPID AND DISGUSTING, I KNOW. but..
anything can happen....right?
karen was laughing at me when i told her that possibility. Thank God we bumped into a female teacher and there was an OPEN girls bathroom just WAITING TO BE USED! *hallelujah* it was SOOO CLEAAAAN!! like OMIGOSH. our school is pathetic cuz of its stinking toilets. xp thats the only downside of our school. they didnt have a lot of food in the canteen, but it was okay.. i guess. I was like practicing in the canteen (like i said, din know those people, so din really give a shit what they would think. hence, not self conscious, can sing) i like being around unknown people at times like this *WHEE*.
Lotsa people from nirmala tuition was there. it was odd. XD can see they were like paying attention when we were performing. one girl even came up and said 'hey, good performance', so super sweet of her. =) oh anyway, enough about me. there were lotsa other performances too. Really like this fashion show one, with kihraan, dwayne as well as other school students performing inside. REALLY CUTE. you guys SHOULD WATCH IT! x) you will be laughing like CRAAAAP! seriously! and there was this melay/indian (im not sure) guy who performed with this other guy. they were both playing guitar, and he was singing too la. LOVED HIS VOICE.
he didnt pronouce his words properly though, but GOSH, his voice was like *aaaahh!!* GOOOOODDD. (so suping thought it was only OKAY) karen totally agreed with me, though she wasnt as crazy about it as i was. if he were to produce a record, i would buy it. i loved his voice THAT much. XD and of course, elizabeth and joyce's performance. THEY WERE AMAZING. their HARMONIZATION were SPOT ON. it was TERRIFIC! *envious like god-knows-what* haha!! XD the dancing performances were all not bad too. there was this one dance, where a girl dressed up as a guy, with a cap and all. GOSH, she DID kinda look like a guy. her movements were SO GUY-ISH. that was cool though, they all did moonwalk and all. LIKE WHOOOAAA. SHOCK AND AWE. SHOCK AND AWE.
sara even started calling her a GUY. because after awhile you just..er.. cant really tell anymore. XD suping even went like 'thats a GIRL right? those are boobs right?!' lol, we were like ALL SO UNSURE. *omigosh im so sorry* it was the baggy shirt and pants which gave the effect, and like stated earlier, the movements and the expression and.. YOU HAVE TO JUST SEE FOR YOURSELF. there was this one part she STUCK OUT HER TONGUE. SUPER GUY-ISH. O.O
so anyway, everyone should go watch the performance la! its next month, the 21st i think. not sure. its only RM25! GO GO GO!! x) you know you DONT WANT TO MISS IT.
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