you know how sometimes you want something SO BAD that everything in your brain just gets so clouded up and so foggy you cant see properly and cant tell everything properly anymore?
Its been happening to me lately (more like since FOREVER).. since like months ago. Im so messed up. Not depressed messed up, just well.. MESSED UP!! And its getting VERY annoying, really. In fact, im annoying myself this VERY MOMENT just THINKING about it. You know, dreams actually HELP you.. its like your subconcious mind trying to tell you what you KNOW you want to do but have been running away from...
So thats what i have been doing lately, avoiding what i know is true.. and thats just so wrong in so many levels. (no, i just wanted to write that line, so sue me) I've been dreaming a lot lately.. and my dreams HAVE been guiding me.. i just ignore them cuz my concious mind has been telling me the opposite of what my subconcious is when REALLY CONCIOUSLY i KNOW the subconcious is RIGHT but just dont want to GIVE INTO it.
xp. its okay, at least it makes sense to me. Thats what matters, right? I like writing my thoughts down when im all muddled up.. makes everything clearer to myself. Hehe. So anyway, thats the case. And one would think,
IF YOU CONCIOUSLY KNOW THAT YOUR SUBCONCIOUS IS RIGHT AND THAT YOUR CONCIOUS MIND IS JUST PLAYING MIND GAMES WITH YOU, WHY NOT JUST DO WHAT THE SUBCONCIOUS IS TELLING YOU TO DO AND GET RID OF YOUR FRIGGIN PROBLEM!?!? WHATS THE BIG DEAL!?!?
Honestly! i dont know whats the big deal either! I guess my urge of WANTING just dulled my senses and made me NOT THINK STRAIGHT ANYMORE. and that just SUCKS.
Its better now though. Im finding it easier to give in to my subconcious mind. BWahahahaHahaha.. finally, huh? after dwelling on it for MONTHS! YES.. MONTHS!!! im finally ABLE (or so i think for now) TO GIVE IN. now say you're proud of me. *grins*
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