Child's Play

Been feeling slightly OFF lately, like somethings out of place in my life. Just want to fix it but really dont know where to start. or maybe i do.. but im just in denial and i dont want to see the problem. If i ignore it, it will solve itself and all will be well again? (wishful thinking) Pfft. I hate myself for being this way, always running away from a problem and letting it accumulate into one huge ball of $#$%#%$#%$# (lack of better words to describe, but gosh, that really DOES give you an idea, right? i know! tell me about it) and then look at it passively going '...what now?' before breaking down. Im so pathetic this way. I really am.

And things arent what they used to be with YOU anymore. Its different, and i dont like the change. I wonder if YOU notice it. Perhaps im just thinking to much, perhaps it means nothing to YOU at all. Sigh. I JUST WANT TO STOP. STOP. STOP. AND $#$#$%#%$#%$#$%#$#$ (again, WHAT AN EFFECT! O.O i feel it so strongly, dont you?) Why cant things revert back to normal? i say im trying, but really, lately i feel as if i am not anymore. Am i giving up? is that what i really want to do? its not. its not. its not. but isnt that what i am already doing? *sigh* see? running away from the problem yet AGAIN, go ahead, give me a round of applause.

Think happy thoughts, think SUSHI! (going to mah happy place)

Ps felt really happy that joyee really liked what i gave him. =) i finished it yesterday with the thought of 'oh God its HORRIBLE i dont want to give it to them (gling and joyee) neemorreee. GAAAH!!' but thanks to the erm, assurance from sis and cas, i felt better la. Not gonna let my hard work go to waste!! XD

Joyee liked it and i got lotsa praises from lotsa people (grins like a fool) im still really not used to receiving praises. feel so... haha. (grins more) XD i dont think i can smile any wider than that. if i could, i would. x) my work is APPRECIATED! *sniffles* x)