Please try not to judge.
The happiest people in the world arent people without worries. We just collect all our worries and put them in a bag, tie up the bag and put them in a chest, lock the chest and place the chest in the deep far end of our brains and never approach the chest. We live in the bubble of our world, seemingly perfect. Denial, denial is our friend. We don't confront our problems, we don't make decisions. We simply just go on with life.
And i quote a blog post i wrote awhile back,
And i quote a blog post i wrote awhile back,
One foot in front of the other.
Repeat.
Repeat.
But one day, the lock gets rusty or some shit, and it falls apart. and the problems come rushing out to you. No, no place to hide. Bubble? bubble's popped. And there you are, trying desperately to keep afloat but you're drowning. you're drowning. And so i break down. I don't know what to do. I turn to people to talk to, you can't decide for me. Fuck. What do i do?
And im just drifting along. That used to be okay. But reality hits hard. Its not. Its not okay. So what now? I don't know. SO WHAT NOW? I DON'T KNOW. And so i break down. but i try to swim. I try to swim, even though i don't know how. I try to swim. We fight. we keep on fighting. And giving up seems so easy, but giving up is never a choice. So we struggle to keep ourselves afloat. We try to build the bubble again, denial. Denial is our friend. But the bubble wont form. Because reality hits hard, its unrelenting, it reminds you constantly that its not okay anymore. Its never been okay.
And im just drifting along. That used to be okay. But reality hits hard. Its not. Its not okay. So what now? I don't know. SO WHAT NOW? I DON'T KNOW. And so i break down. but i try to swim. I try to swim, even though i don't know how. I try to swim. We fight. we keep on fighting. And giving up seems so easy, but giving up is never a choice. So we struggle to keep ourselves afloat. We try to build the bubble again, denial. Denial is our friend. But the bubble wont form. Because reality hits hard, its unrelenting, it reminds you constantly that its not okay anymore. Its never been okay.
i think, we got to set an aim first, then think of the process, not go through process and see where it leads us.- WeiKhai
You're right.
the Mäy (is fun-size) says:And thank you so much brenda. For always throwing me that life line. For reminding me that im not alone. For reassuring me.
i need to sort myself out so badly.
i dont know what im doing taking this course.
i dont know what im doing. period.
im so lost brenda
it scares me.
i dont know what im doing.
its completely stupid to study without knowing which direction you're headed to.
the brenda (is big) says:
so i'm just saying, sometimes it takes you later to realize
sometimes it takes you later to even have the courage to change your life
but i think lots of people are pressured into doing things because they should
so yeah, i hope you figure it out soon (: but if not, you will eventually anyway
(conversations edited and shortened)
Thanks for giving me hope.
Thanks for giving me hope.
I get so stressed out and conflicted inside, you don't even know. I cry just thinking about it. Because i have no idea how to deal with my situation and im so lost its not even funny. But i think i sort of have a little bit of direction now. And its nice to know that i have options. so thank you for reminding me of that.
And infinite thanks to all the friends who got me thinking about this. its high time i did. Burying this under the carpet will just lead me down the road of destruction (haha drama =.=). Thanks jian for talking to me about it all the times i needed to. Sheun for making me realise how serious this situation is (haha and you dont even know). Weikhai for giving me some perspective. Most of all to Brenda, for helping me through this so much.
Ps. sorry im being so serious and emotional guys. We all have our moments. For more fun times and crazy ass shit, please redirect yourself to suping's blog.
And infinite thanks to all the friends who got me thinking about this. its high time i did. Burying this under the carpet will just lead me down the road of destruction (haha drama =.=). Thanks jian for talking to me about it all the times i needed to. Sheun for making me realise how serious this situation is (haha and you dont even know). Weikhai for giving me some perspective. Most of all to Brenda, for helping me through this so much.
Ps. sorry im being so serious and emotional guys. We all have our moments. For more fun times and crazy ass shit, please redirect yourself to suping's blog.
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