I dont remember what it feels like anymore. To feel that rush of happiness in the middle of the day, to feel so thankful and so loved, to be grateful to just be. I dont ever feel like i have so much love to give anymore. I really just dont. I dont know why, but somehow, that all went away.
I remember back in the days i felt so overwhelmed with love i had to go around telling people how much i loved them and how much i appreciated them. I was bursting with happiness and i just couldnt hold it in. Where have those days gone? Why have they gone? Why wont they come back now?
I do not know what is missing.
Is it because most of you are miles away now? Is it not? Is it just me? Is that it? Sometimes i feel like i am losing that bond and i am constantly in denial of it. I did know it was coming, i even said it was. I really did know, really. And i guess somewhere along the way, i got tired of trying to hold on, to try, really. To just try.
I decided to let it just be. And if its meant to be, it will last, and if its not, then it'll just fade, like everything else in the world. it will just fade. That train of thought saddens me, it does. But sigh.
I decided to let it just be. And if its meant to be, it will last, and if its not, then it'll just fade, like everything else in the world. it will just fade. That train of thought saddens me, it does. But sigh.
What is wrong with me?
Sometimes i feel as if im not me anymore. Or at least im not the idea of me that i want to be anymore, funny, how the idea of me was the me in the past. Isnt it just ridiculous how i want to go back, and not move forwards? I've forgotten how its like to feel so much for any one person, when i felt so much for most everyone way back when.
When every small thing could just set me off
And now i just dont care.
And now i just dont care.
What has become of me? Am i really this insensitive? Why dont i care? I want to... well. Do I? I find myself very confused, and often i'd rather just not stop, and not think. Its been quite awhile.
Overall, im glad you came back to me.
Unknowingly. But you did. And thank you for that. I dont feel strongly towards anyone anymore now. I dont feel the attachment i once did. Sigh. I need to be reminded.
Save me, please?
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