I have this horrible habit that i have acquired over the past two years. Its like, whenever im called out in class to answer a question, my mind shuts down and its like some brain cell runs over to the big red PANIC button, which prolly has this small teensy little sign stating 'DO NOT PUSH' but no cell ever bothers to pay any attention to that... either that or they just enjoy pushing the big red button. But i can relate to that. Big red buttons like that (just like the lift buttons!) are really nice to push. They just look so pushable and tempting. No?
Anyway, after the button is pushed, the siren goes off in my head and its, unfortunately, unlike the fire engine siren, its more like the lame siren of xiao vons, but instead of going 'lame lame lame' it goes,
Not that that's ever happened
I honestly think it has something to do with Brother John. (i am aware that i've blogged about this before, but i dont care. im reminiscing. bear with me!) He called me EVERY SINGLE CLASS!! (yeah okay, so i wasnt paying attention.) and then when i smiled, he'd smile back! And he'd ask 'So, LiMay, do you know the answer?'
Then i'd turn to the person next to me and ask (hopefully) discreetly, 'what was the question?' and most times they have the same blank look i do and go 'i have no idea' and then theres people across the table mouthing the question to me but i wouldnt really be able to make out what the question is... and i'd go
'i dunnooo...'
And brother john would still be smiling all happy. Hahahaha! i swear that was training, so now its a habit. And its HORRID, cause in college, everyone knows EVERYTHING. whenever teacher asks a question, it seems to me as EVERYONE she calls would actually know the answer. and im the only one with the stupid blank look who goes 'i dont know.' and smile sweetly, only smiling sweetly doesnt work anymore. THE LECTURERS ARENT BROTHER JOHN! *horror!!!!*
Ah, old days.
And its not like i dont know the answers, if you give me a question on a paper and make me do it, i'd prolly know how to. Its just that, when put on the spot, i just cant answer. Its weird. Its bad. I'll do horrible in interviews, i know. I'd prolly SMILE A LOT. GIGGLE A LOT. SWEAT A LOT.
yeah okay. bryan knows.
(since he interviewed me once)
Anyway, speaking of teachers, and being put on a spot, i recall this one time we had to do the 'ming ju jing hua' presentation but i wasnt given what i had to say before that so i didnt really have time to practice and YOU KNOW MY CHINESE SUCKS. So hun yan had to like stand beside me and read the lines out softly and i read them out loud, hahahha! i was like SUPER thankful xp
oh oh, i'll never forget that english class presentation i had to do about the author of the pearl and yonghui was totally at the back DISTRACTING ME AND DISRUPTING MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT by making stupid faces and such, that i actually COULDNT REMEMBER my LINES and had to REFER!!!! but teacher praised me in the end and said i was a good speaker *proud proud HAHAHAHAA* and asked what he thought and he was all *thumbs down*
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
And Mr Ho said i have a nice voice too! *proud proud* Its weird though, i always sorta never liked my voice. When i was younger, i used to call my moms phone and play with the leave a message after the beep thing and say stupid things, playback and hear my own voice (im sure lotsa you did the same thing). And then i'd think to myself
'i dont like my voice, why do i sound so stupid? i sound better in my head. WHY DOES IT COME OUT SOUNDING LIKE THAT!'
Which also sorta explains why i was initially really pretty shy about singing in public and stuff. xp, really needed a lot of encouragement from my girls! *i remember those days*... and soon the shyness went away and everyone started snatching for the mike during our karaoke sessions. XD oh and sometimes, when i recall that time brenda, karen and i performed our short sketch on THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA where we sang in front of the class,
it just makes me wonder how i could have done it.
Cause i certainly wouldnt do it now. XD
'it can happen to only one of us,
Erik to be certain,'
'only one of us,
christine you must love me,
forever more,
or my heart will break,
cause you made a stupid mistake,
a stupid mistaaaake~'
'you mean nothing to me, nothing to me,
i did it out of sympathy,
i want to lose you.'
*sniff*
OLD TIMES!
Heh, and singing on stage with the girls! *loves* =') oh and brenda once said i sound like a bell.. only i heard her say BEAR at the time. and i felt so... OMIGAWD?!
A BEAR?!
RAWR?!?!?!
(i literally went rrraawr! at the time, as i recall.)
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA
But truthfully, i still dont really quite like my voice. =__=" I DONT KNOW WHY. i just DONT. i feel like i sound annoying, when i hear myself in recordings and stuff... im just glad everyone else thinks otherwise, since im not the one having to put up with hearing my voice (how it really sounds like and not how it sounds like in my head) all the time. xp
yeah okay, i have no idea how i ended up blogging about MY VOICE. =.=
im just going to stop now before i start going into more ridiculous topics like, I READ THIS ASTROLOGICAL BOOK THE OTHER DAY AND IT SAID THAT LIBRAIANS LIKE TO SAY THINGS LIKE TOMORROW WILL BE A BETTER DAY, and THERES ALWAYS A SILVER LINING. which really is pretty true, i do say stuff like that all the time... aside from the morbid things that i say some of the times.
*ahem ahem*
What?
everybody has their OFF DAYS!
GREAT LOVE!
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