We say that we dont want to let go of the past.
But its not that we dont want to, we just find it hard to. And its hard only because we cannot find a way to. The reason why we cannot find a way to is due to the fact that there arent any replacements.
And thus,
Its not that we dont want to let go.
We just cannot.
Because that was where we belonged. That was home. That was who we know ourselves as. Somehow, unknowingly, that was how we came to define ourselves. As part of something. And without it all, everything suddenly faded and your world became a blur. Everywhere, fog, mist and you're just trying...
...trying to find a way out.
and you find yourself, so caught up with remembering. you find yourself, still talking as if it were the same. you find yourself, reassuring yourself with the past. you find yourself...
Hating it.
Hating it so bad.
Suddenly, you want it to all just end.
Just stop.
Stop the memories.
You want things to be okay for you again. You want to move on, because everyone obviously have. You know you're the only one, childishly holding onto that string that you've unconciously created, that was without a doubt, holding you back. But although it was doing so, you just did not want to let go. Because again, if you did, what would you be?
Floating around aimlessly.
Worse off.
But what could be worse than this?
But we never want to be in doubt. No we dont. because feeling secure is good. No matter how torturous it is. No matter how much you hate it. Feeling secure is good.
So when the time came,
and i saw my chance at letting go,
I jumped at it.
Without hesitation.
...and i finally let goNow i never want to go back. Because here. Here feels great. And the memories. The memories have stopped. And life. Life has suddenly started to look that little bit brighter again.
Im really back this time.
Cheers!
ps. im being dramatic. You know what i mean. =) I still love you guys more than anything (cept family xp), but im just glad im finally able to move on. Just like the rest of you. And it feels wonderful. i know i TOOK EONS compared to you guys, i know. but thats just me. Im always somehow that little bit more ATTACHED than everyone. I know. heh. took me half a year, but at least NOW ITS OVER!!
..and this is somewhat related to liyings previous post, dont know if its exactly what you felt or anything, but if it was, then well, you're not alone, i felt the same way =)
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