Funny how i brought it all onto myself..
but am i to blame?
when i didnt know it would result to this?
I worried before that, but i guess i just didnt bother, and now im REALLY worried, and i looked it up and my worries are increased ten fold. But its not serious, so i guess its okay. i guess I can still fix myself. I guess i can still be fine.
But what if i cant?
I dont want to share this with anyone, so this shall be my sole secret that only my family knows of. I do not want pity, nor do i want comforting. I need this worry to help me fix me. Its not about not caring, for it'd only get worse that way. not caring is stupid after all.
Ignorance? Ignorance is no bliss.
The only person that can help me is myself.
..and i am ready to do just that.
I hope one day, i'll look back onto this post with self satisfaction. That i was able to do what i set out for myself to do and not sigh and feel crushed for everything i had done had not helped one ounce but everything worsened.
I believe i can do this.
I dont need a miracle. All i need is preserverance and determination. And all will be fine. All will be fine. All will be fine.
..at least i hope it will
dont bother asking. I love you all and i would tell you anything and everything else, but not this. Never this. So please, dont bother. This is for me and me only.
The war has begun.
And i am determined to win this fight.
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