My Today
Groggy. Sleepy. Awake. Cheery. Happy. Suping and Yonghui perform, Cheer! Cheer! Talk. Another new realization. No Bio! No tenth period! jolly. Disgusted by Popsicle on rice act by bryan. distracted. Tired. Sad. Tired. Sad. distracted. Figures. Numbers numbers. calculator. Eraser. Tired. Tired. disappointed. Super duper upset. Thanks edwin! Tired. Teevee. Sleep. Online. Sad. Distracted. Blog.
Boring day as you can see.
anyway, i dont know why but i suddenly thought about this. I had a cousin who passed away when i was really really young. Like 6 or 7 or 8 im not really sure. i remember going into the hospital, jumping up and down talking to my two other cousins, pointing at the E's on the 'check your eyesight' board. i remember measuring my height and laughing... laughing a lot. Back then, i had no idea what i was doing there in the hospital.
Then dad carried me and there was this person being wheeled out of this room... his face was all black, like charcoal. And dad said my cousin passed away. I did not feel anything, as i dont know who he is. I dont know his name, i dont even remember ever interacting with him. Perhaps i never did. im not sure. No sadness, no grief - NOTHING. We were practically strangers.
But one day, when everyone was out, this song started playing on the radio. It was a chinese song, and as i was sitting there, hugging my legs, rocking myself to and fro, i suddenly thought about him and started crying. I kept thinking of how it was to die, to leave everyone and i felt so sad for him. I felt like he was going to be lonely. And if theres one thing im scared of the most, its loneliness. The thought of him leaving the world to be alone was horrifying and saddening. Call me demented, haha, but at that moment, i just felt like dying. I felt like dying so i could keep him company, though i had no idea who he was ('cept for the fact that he was my cousin, but other than that, naaah. so its not counted). No one deserved to be alone, right?
anyway, just felt like blogging it down cuz BRENDAS NOT THERE TO LEMME TALK TO HER and SARAS NOT THERE EITHER. AND GRR! *blog lo*
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