Child's Play

This years christmas gathering was a BLAST!! it was held at monkey's house.. his house is DAMN big i tell you. damn BIG and damn NICE. SERIOUSLY!! we played in his thigh high pool the whole afternoon till evening. the water balloons were damn hell painful when it hit you, but the water splashing and stuff were just so fun!!!

and we took so many pictures with poses and stuff, hahaa... it was hilarious!! espeacially when bren did the one piece ZORO on candle pose. That was so CUUUTEEE!! that night, we played PICTIONARY.. and my group, GROUP KILUA!!!! *chants* kilua, kilua, kilua, kilua, got last i think. BUUUU, but it was fun anyway. LoL. the word was mirror, so I drew this stick man looking at his reflection in the mirror and circled the mirror. Karen and brenda came out with the funkiest things like DONUTMAN. everyone was laughing their heads off.

Then we played TWISTER. you know that game, where a lot of people goes on this mat with colourful dots and then you spin this arrow, and it spins and where it stops is which colour you have to put your hand or leg at. It was REALLY FUN but also VERY tiring, i sweated like MAAAADDD. and kwan seng and bryan eventually gave up with the spinning arrow and started giving instructions instead.. trying to 'KILL' us, by making us go in such WEIRD positions.

after that we stayed up and watched one piece movie, which was surprisingly short and then watched schoo of rck at like 4 something...i slept at the last aprt of the movie in an awkward but somehow comfortable to me position. i was like sitting up.. and karen was sitting next to me, she had a pillow on her lap, so i just like bent forward and put my ehad on the pillow, and before i knew it i was asleep.

think i was only able to sleep for 15 minutes and the show ended, the girls went upstairs to sleep but we were like SOOO awake we stayed up talking till 8 o clock. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!?!! EIGHT!! and they made us wake up at 11 something. The guys i mean. but we were really energetic anyway, none of us were sleepy. played this murder game, where everyone tries to kill everyone and pictionary for a while, but gave up soon after. All in all, the sleepover was FUN!

Hey good news people! everything is as right and as good as day with my mum and me! Thank God my mum is ever so understanding and forgiving. I love her to bits!!

Anyway, christmas shopping is like SUCH a headache. Bren, karen and I went christmas shopping yesterday. who knew it would take HOURS to shop for those presents?!?! and to think we wanted to catch a movie. If we did, there wouldve been not enough time for the pressies. we shopped HIGH and low, spent money like CRAAAA-ZY. Which felt TERRIBLE! terrible i tell you!

it was a ten dollar note again and again and again and soon, we all spent like 150++. I mean, WHATS UP WITH THAT!?! i wish i was at china again. where things were EVER so cheap and EVER so nice. Soon enough, bren and i were left pennyless... karen went skating with her bro and couz and a friend of hers. Christmas ROBS people of their money. And we're supposed to feel good. Good my ass. Goodbye money~~ *sniff* it was nice knowing you were with me ONCE.

But still, christmas is the season of GIVING. so yea. Im not regretting anything, the stuff we got were prety cool too! ^^ thanks to the experties of brenda, karne and myself, we actually managed to pick out enough presents for all those in our list. Too bad we forgot eu chern and didnt know xue ni and louise were coming. Bah. im going out tonight, so i have to buy something for brens birthday and pressie for the others. If i dont, because mom will not be happy about spending money. then, oh well. Sorry folks. As bad and as GUILTY as i may feel later, im sorry they wont have a present.. from me at least.

Thank goodness karen and bren were there to pitch in money for the presents, or i'll be dead dry out of money right now and probably lying dead in the basement after being slayed by my parents.

Just another day of being me. The imperfect me... whom everyone just isnt happy about. Everyone just always isnt content with who i am. im THROUGH trying to please EVERYONE. im just THROUGH with EVERYTHING. im going to only please ME and MYSELF. so sue me for being a stupid selfish brat who wants everything to go HER way. You all know im just ranting right now. so just forget it. I just wanna walllow in self pity. Im angry. and im going to STAY angry. for now. so let me RANT.

Another day. Just another day in my shoes. Another day. When will these days end?

Im just ALWAYS the dissapointing one. im so SICK and TIRED of being DISSAPOINTING. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Im sad. Im angry. Im depreesed and most of all. Im Mad. Im freaking Mad... and maybe freaking sorry for not being the PERFECT daughter. im SORRY dammit. I AM WHO I AM. but im not sorry for being ME. for being WHAT i am. sorry im not how you WANT me to be. Im just so sorry.

The rain is getting heavier now and somehow it just really comforts me. Even with the thunder and all. Rain. Sweet sweet rain.

hahaa... and now all of a sudden, im thinking of star wars... 'may the force be with you'. haha... you know how when people are just so superly depressed they say amusing things? haha. force be with you. haha.

Being as stubborn and headstrong as i am just gets me into bigger trouble. its like DIGGING the hole deeper and deeper. I dont know. I just ALWAYS fight back. I listen to my friends, when their parents scold them they just well, LISTEN and cry about it later. I shout back and THEN cry about it later. and shouting back isnt a good idea, folks. Not that you people dont know that. Im just too rebellious? I cant help it. And it wasnt even half my fault today. it just wasnt me who started it. I was right. I was RIGHT until i started shouting back. And i know that for a fact.

See, MOTHER said we'd be eating dinner at 6 then going out so YEA. I washed my hair and took my bath at 5 and was planning to change before going out. So then i went to use the computer. and at 5.45, she just BARGES in the room and shouts at me why arent i ready yet? and im like you said eat at 6. and shes like well now i want to LEAVE at 6. and im like well you said eat at 6 at first so it isnt my fault. then she left, and i was going upstairs to change. so i went to POINT out to her, maybe done more HARSHLY then attended to, that i was IN FACT following instructions and doing exactly what she wanted me to. That she said EAT at 6 so it really wasnt my fault that i wasnt ready. then she got all MAD at me. Saying DONT RAISE YOUR VOICE AT ME. and i didnt realise i was. IT ALWAYS HAPPENS TO ME! and shes like YOU'RE NOT COMING. IM NOT BRINGING YOU.

And that really triggered me. I just well, exploded. i mean, WHAT THE HELL!?!? i was already VERY WELL following her ORDERS and walking up the DAMNED staircase to CHANGE. so me being WHO I AM... STUBBORN REBELLIOUS and all sorts shouted back. FINE. and went back to the computer. then she came back and was lie OFF THE COMPUTER NOW! and im like. *off* and went off. and shes like YOU'RE NOT COMING WITH ME. come on, she already said that. so im like WELL. I DONT WANNA GO. EVER THOUGHT OF THAT!?! i was angry. i just... wasnt thinking straight. it just HAPPENS!!! BAH. and shes like YOU'RE NOT OGING FOR THE SLEEPOVER OR SHOPPING. and im like. IM GOING. I DONT CARE. which if you all knew me... would know im just freaking lying. and SHE knows that too. She knows i wouldnt even put a LEG out of the door if without permission.

Im like that. rebellious as i may be... i just WOULDNT dare without their pemission. Bah. so now im wallowing in self pity. Drowning in my tears. Im just so STUPID. someone shoot me. Just shoot me.

Today, my family went to my cousins house to celebrate their grandma's birthday. By saying THEIR grandma, i mean my aunts mother in law. Thats right. there was a BIG dinner thrown by my aunts family and ALL my uncles relatives came over... my family was the odd ball!! But seriously, no biggie, we HAD fun!

At first we saw this little gurl... Joyce. Shy one she was.. and then my sister had to go do the baby talk and talk to her and AWAKEN her INNER self. the SUPER HYPE side. Goodness, from the sweet thin innocent little angel she TRANSFORMED almost magically into the tad bit annoying girl. Who went on trying to hug all the GUYS and tried to KISS them. Which was totally funny to watch. And then she started taking shaun's specs out with one hand again and again.

The horrible moment came as she CLAMPED her hands together on his specs. as in, you know that clapping hand movement? NO!?!? dont act dumb with me. kinda like clap her hands with the specs in the mid.. and so, one of his specs lens broke. it was inevitable. oh well. There was this other cute little boy names adam... who is like REALLY shy but REALLY cute. yeaaa...

and this 20 year old guy, eugene, which i think looks like my age but one of my sister thinks otherwise. the other agrees of course. Oh well. He's a really nice guy, sociable... but... theres always a but my friends... everyone has a flaw.. and hez just REALLY forgetful. i told him my name like 3 times and in the end.. you know what he called me!?!? YAN WEI. YAN WEI!!! im not YAN WEEII!! and my sister.. he called her LI KIM. but at least he got the LI right for her. im YAN WEI! bogus. but it was hilarious.

The aunties there kept mistaking me and my sisters for being one of SHAUN'S girlfriends. hahaaaa... Overall, it was pretty fun. Not bad. not bad at all.

Theres this Primary school class gathering tomorrow...which i was told LAST minute due to certain circumstances i guess. No offence to anyone whatsoever, but i wasnt even thinking of going at all when i got the invite. So sorry to my primary classmates, but i guess i never was ever that close to any of my classmates except for 4-5 of them.

But im not complaining or anything, primary school was really fun, i had my ups and my downs, barely any downs actually, being as young as i was, barely knew anything and never really kept any hard feelings or whatever i guess. everyday was a new day, everyday was a happy day. smiling happily skipping and jumping like a total freak under the sun. Yeap, that was primary. great great days. Having fun NOT being ones friend on one day and make up the next day..that was really weird but yea, never had a problem.

oh yea, and i rememebr being called childish too. which when you think about it, isnt a bad thing at all. Dont know whats wrong with those people, wanna grow up so fast for what!?!!? stay young and youthful maaa... sooner or later they're gonna look back and think...MAAAN i grew up so fast, time flies by. LoL, who knows? being called childish had never brought me down ever. Just so you people know. Hah, i admit, i AM pretty childish. and thats how i want to be. ^^ I can grow up later on, its no biggie, no rush. gimme my own sweet time to break out of my cocoon. Im still pretty comfortable in here folks.

And the fact i've really changed over the years. not saying everyone hasnt, but i mean, I CAN BARELY SPEAK A LINE OF CHINESE WITHOUT ADDING ENGLISH WORDS IN. so to hell with speaking chinese. and lucky lucky me, primary school mates, well most of them speak that language. So thats another down for me. Even those i was relaly close with speak chinese. So it'll be a bit hard for me i guess, feel a bit outta place, awkward? who knows, its not like im actually going anyway. *sigh* all this mumbo jumbo typing, really makes it look like im trying to convince myself i dont wanna go right? i know. i know. but its not!! ITS NOT I SWEARR!! oh who am i kidding. I'll never know unless i give it a shot and go right? sorry mateys! no transport.

this aint some gang meet up or anything, aint got my brenda dearest to fetch me there. besides, shes still at bangkok, so too baaaaad. Bottom line is, primary school was great and everything, i had my fun...but high school is just sooo.. GREAT!! i soooo love high school!! and im missing the primary school gathering whether i like it or not, its not like i have a choice anyway. But rambling about it is fun. hahaaa..

I love the gang and my friends SOOO MUCCCH... i just feel that i cahnged ever so much. And to think i was THAT hot tempered when i first came to high school. Ehehee... >< i changed thanks to the influence of my friends in form 1. Im so thankful to have them.

Bloody hell... my new maid is like, really REALLY ticking me off. and im not even here everyday of the week. i mean, im gone to my cousins house on friday, back on tuesday and gone again on friday. its a wonder how she pisses me off in such a short period of time. dont you think?

6 puzzle pieces are missing. And its the ones in the middle. HOW THE HELL DID SHE MANAGE TO GET THOSE SUCKED UP IN THE BLOODY VACUUM CLEANER!?!?! geeez. and guess what, she didnt even bother to tell me. So i didnt notice, until yesterday night.I MARCHED on downstairs and asked her. did she touch my puzzle..and she had to act all INNOCENT and say..huh? which one? and after that she FINALLY came to her SENSES she was like..oh sudah masuk. and she SMILED. she BLOODY SMILED. why was she SMILING!?!?! =__=" and she was like, i'll go look for it now, as if she'll even find them. note. she didnt even say sorry. Blast her.

Stupid.

and today... okay, i know this is STUPID for me to get angry about, but listen.. I WAS SLEEPING SOUNDLY and she woke me up for a phone call. and she didnt know how to pass the phone call up. i was like URGH!!!! you know, that noise you make when you're half sleeping and annoyed? yea, that noise..and i dont know why, but i was like scatching my ehad..and like pulling my hair...and when i got down...the person already closed the phone and i was like URRRGGHHH!H!!! *slam* yeaa...and i marched on upstairs. and she said DAD just taught her. surprise surprise. amybe it's not right to get mad at her cuz of this, ppl forget..BUT I WAS SLEEPING!! I JUST WOKE UP. and she had to RUIN my mood just like that. *snap*

and mum ordered YES ordered me to go down for lunch, when i got down..not ONLY was she NOT there, but my sisters FRIEND was there. a guy. And i was in my PYJAMAS. and i was SO SHOCKED all i could do was PRETEND i wasnt SHOCKED and say HI!! and walk pass. that was SO dumb. hopefully yhat doesnt leave an impression.

Holiday on ice later! yay?? and im busy making cards for everyone. only its starting to get on my nerves cuz...im using glass deco and it keeps sticking to paper and i cant take it out and its all ruined and ugly and i have to make a new one and its hard, it takes one bloody hour for one!!! im not making for evryone. IM NOT IM NOT IM NOT!! BLAAAH!!! and to think some of them may even throw it away. my one hour efforts...=___=" oh well. thats life.