Child's Play: February 2010

a big WHOOPS!

- Friday, February 26, 2010

Student tutoring again yesterday (oh lovely Thursdays), so after my first kid was done, he didnt really wanna leave (cause im so lovable they all just wanna stay with me FOREVER AND EVER i know) so like, the couches are situated at a 90 degree angle to each other with gap in between (the normal way couches are placed, i just felt the odd need to explain) and he had his hands on the arm rest of these two couches and was swinging himself to and fro, like a little monkey.

i decided to try to touch his tummy as he was swinging towards me and the first time i hit it =D and the second time i didnt manage to, so i went,

'Dammit.'

and then he went,

'you said a bad word!'

......

now i know how parents feel.

I honestly didnt know how to react to that. i guess i should have went, SSSHHH LETS KEEP THIS IS A SECRET BETWEEN YOU AND ME *insert hand signals* but instead i half panicked and went,

'oh erm sorry!'

.....

and went on to exclaim,

'SWEETCORN!'

which sounds bloody random but its not as random as it is cause we were talking about sweetcorn earlier on. i think he sensed my distress and he said,

'its okay.'

What an angel. Got new stickers to hand out to them this week. Bought them from warwick with my sister =D was giving them out to the second kid and i went,

'gold stars for you because you've been so good today.'

'I WAS?'

he had a point. he hadn't been too good that day but who was I to deny him of his stickers? well actually. never mind. i wanted him to be happy anyway, hes my little monkey =D and i went,

'you weren't? oh well, no stickers for you then.'

'NO NO! I WAS!'

hahaha =D and then my third kid, we were reading this book at on one page there was this Monkey named Rudolph (RUDOLPH IS THE RED NOSE REINDEER DAMMIT, YOU CANT MAKE HIM A MONKEY >.> PICK ANOTHER NAME) anyway, my third kid was all,

*point at monkey and laugh*

'its like your sticker monkeys!!!!'

so later on i gave him sticker monkeys so that he could have his own Rudolph. but he wanted another sticker monkey. so now he had two! so i said,

'okay then, its Rudolph and Randalph'

and he went,

'who's Randalph?'

........
he doesnt get me.

*ahem*

=) Still loving the kids. Its easier to control them now that i have the stickers to lord over them. LOL especially the second kid. when he misbehaves, i just go, 'do you want the stickers or not?' and then he turns good again.

HAHAHAHAHA

and he wanted 9 stickers, but i delibrately gave him only 7 =_____=" just because its fun like that. and then i realised i gave some of the other kids 10. Ouch. IM SORRY. lol i'll give him more next week.

My little angels. =D

On a random note

- Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Had a relaxing weekend at Warwick with my sister
and guess what?

I can see your halo halo halo~~

hah to those who didnt believe me when i told them im an angel sent from above. I TOLD YOUUUU I TOOOOLLDDD YOOOUUU!!! (never actually said that to anyone before but lets all pretend i did. its more fun this way) now that my name is cleared, told you i never lie!! lets move on to other more random matters.

The other day during class, teacher discussed Jeremy Bentham's (1785) 'Panopticon'

Quote from wiki

The concept of the design is to allow an observer to observe (-opticon) all (pan-) prisoners without the prisoners being able to tell whether they are being watched, thereby conveying what one architect has called the "sentiment of an invisible omniscience."

Bentham himself described the Panopticon as "a new mode of obtaining power of mind over mind, in a quantity hitherto without example."

See the bottom half semi circle thingy? Thats the view from above. the guard will stand in the middle (the innermost half circle) and the cells are allocated at the outermost half circle. Innermost half circle is like built outta this material whereby the prisoners cannot see the guard, so the prisoners dont know if the guard is there or not. Sometimes he may be, sometimes he may not be. Either way, they wont know so its like OOOOHHH

As the watchmen cannot be seen, they need not be on duty at all times, effectively leaving the watching to the watched.

They have to assume that they are being watched at all times and this limits their freedom. So that got me thinking,

Isn't that kind of like God?

Anyone else who got the same thought in their heads when they read the earlier passage raise your hands!!! =D I mean, you dont know if theres a God and if he's watching or whatever, but either way, even if you dont believe hes there, you sort of limit yourself and discipline yourself so that you dont do anything too ... evil? just in case he IS real, he DOES exist and he IS watching and NOW YOU'RE GOING TO BURN IN THE FIERY FLAMES OF HELL AND GET STABBED WITH PITCHFORKS AND GET YOUR TONGUE CUT - ahem - sorry got carried away there.

Well anyway, like i said. Random.

Also, was trying to be creative with the roses i got,

ISNT THIS A PRETTY SHOT?
you know it is.

actually tried to dry the roses so they'll be like FOREVER PRETTY or something but mine just died =.= omg. and they say its supposed to be easy. i feel like such a failure but ANNNYHOOOO

Rouge tonight =D Hopefully that'll be awesome.

Also,
Done eating my ai xin mian baos.

which were good while they lasted.
TT

Anyway, will try not to wait a week before my next update.

LOVE LOTS!

ps. almost forgot. View the 4 second video of the duck trying to be a motorboat =D im so amused

Make the world a better place - one stare at a time

- Sunday, February 14, 2010

ZOMG, my 900th post!!

and what better thing to write about on my 900th post other than another stupid thing i did just yesterday? *grins, it so appropriately describes me and my personality* So yesterday, CNY's eve, i went out for dinner with a few of my hallmates to this really really good restaurant in chinatown. Cause it was so really really good, there was this craaazy ass long queue and we had to wait FOREVER before it was our turn. We were behind this glass piece that separated us from the world of happy families eating their awesome dinners.

Happy families eating awesome dinners| us
Happy families eating awesome dinners| us

Dratted glass piece. So i decided to play this game. I mean, they're totally flaunting their awesome dinners in our faces, so i decided to make them feel uncomfortable by just staring at them. At this one particular table actually. At first, no one paid any attention to me. OH YES, the people behind the glass piece are SAD and PATHETIC and HUNGRY and deserve no attention, we are invisible to them superior able to eat at that same moment as we were starving beings. But i didnt give up, i stared harder and used the FORCE in me and the perasan senses i know everybody possesses to try to get their attention.

BURNING STARE OF GUILT!!!

Eventually, this boy at the table looked my way. Then looked away as i continued staring at him. then he pretended he didnt see me staring at him and went on eating like nothing happened, talking to his family like nothing happened and then... he looked my way again, and i was still STARING. then he pretended he didnt see me staring AGAIN and went on eating again and then... HE LOOKED MY WAY AGAIN and i was STILL STARING. hahaha wtf. it went on for SO LONG, honestly. some of my hallmates were laughing at how ridiculous it was, and then it hit me,

ZOMG. rather than making him feel uncomfortable, i bet i was boosting his ego instead, maybe he was thinking 'OMG IM SO HOT THE GIRL KEEPS LOOKING AT ME SHE JUST CANT PEEL HER EYES AWAY FROM ME. IM SO HOT IM SO HOT IM SO HOT' when in reality, i was trying to 'MAKE YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE TO THE MAX'

damn fail.

Shon was saying 'yeah if it were me, i would think that too'
(that he was hot thats why i was staring wtf)

so i thought that perhaps i should STOP staring at him so that his ego would deflate back to its NORMAL size. but then i thought, ITS TOO LATE NOW, hes going to think im suddenly SHY or something. NOOOOOOOOO!! TT lol, it was SO awkward when his family stood up to leave and they had to cross the glass piece border that separated both worlds to leave the place. *slaps forehead*

The funny thing was, as his family was outside already, i was talking to a friend who was standing at the doorway and then i saw him GLANCING in on me, WTF, probably checking if i was STILL looking which by coincidence, I WAS. =_____=" HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

I like to think that i just totally enriched that boys life. Now he has stories to tell his classmates and family at family gatherings and sorts. I boost his ego and made the world a better place. IT ALL STARTS WITH ONE PERSON.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAA
bullshitting =.=

Go do your part now.
Save the world.
Make love, not war.

NEW IDEAS EVERYDAY!!!

CNY blues

Was gambling with the hallmates (lost 30p btw... lolness, so many hours and just 30p) and it just hit me hard on HOW MUCH I MISS FAMILY BACK HOME!! I mean, when we gamble, its just like WHOOOAAAA!! epiiiicness

Everyone just gets SO HYPED up, its craaazy! and i like how everyone is gathered at the table to play the game, be it 7 year olds or 80 year olds, and we all shout PICTURE PICTURE and we high five and everything and go YESSSS when we go bust (to fool the dealer) and how begu totally works the table XD and just last year, we graduated from high fives to knuckle touches, hey, thats PROGRESS for you. xp

I remember that one year begu was winning so much that as the dealer, he was like, aiya feel bad for you guys, he had TWENTY in his hands (two pictures or something like that) and he said, 'give you all la' so he took one more card,

and it was an ACE.

WTF. 21, everyone had to pay double XD Epic moment, EPIIIIC. and the whole, PUTTING THE FROGS IN THE POT thing we use, haha! and how every year theres this WORD that just grows on all of us, like how one year it was SEMI. honestly. I dont know any other family that does that. I like how we consult each other and show each other our cards, and how sometimes the dealer shows us his cards too (when we sit next to him/her) and its like, OOOOHHH XD and how the adults will place their bets on your bet cause they think you're lucky, and how we split our OWN bets into a few bets by placing our other bets on other peoples bets and its like OOOOHH!! XD

I guess i just miss the company mostly =) And how eventhough every night we have to sleep like sardines (bloody cramped in the room, literally cannot move at ALL) it just makes you feel so together and nice. and its fun to listen to AUNTY talks and before we sleep, sometimes they'll be talking about some deep stuff or some personal stuff and you're just like OHHH and sigh, it just feels safe and right. I guess thats family for you.

And how in the morning, you wake up and walk downstairs and there'll already be children awake watching cartoons, so you'd just sit on the couch and stone while watching teevee. Its a nice feeling, then we go out for bak kut teh. =D Everything is just so comfortable. And how we'll play a movie at night and everyone will be watching it at the same time. XD the whole lot of us.

Like, sigh, its chinese new year now but i just DONT feel it. No hype, no nothing. just another day, need to do work. its just GRRR-ness. I dont know how they're spending CNY at home, i hope everyone is alright, i hope everyone is trying. She wouldnt want to see us this way. lalaalaaaalala>=(

Well anyway, im going to stop feeling sorry for myself. Hope all you guys back home and wherever else are having a GREAT CNY and erm happy valentines day slash single awareness day for all. =) You know i love you.

and remember,

Keep on smiling, my lovelies!

WongFu Productions: Technology Ruins Romance

- Wednesday, February 10, 2010

OMG WONGFU PRODUCTIONS HAS NEW SHORTS!

they DONT disappoint

lolnessssss

MY FAVORITE ONE =D
i thought this one was shot really really well, especially the beginning.

'it may take months, it make take years, i may have to travel to area 68... THE DANGER ZONE'

Kinda cool to see how much they have improved from the past.

And HAHA, predictable vids, but oh so funny =D

and so I pray

- Saturday, February 06, 2010

So that is what this is.

There are no right words.
No way to say this.

So where do i begin?

Despite everything, the world doesn't revolve around me, i know that. There are no right words. I want to talk about it, but i don't know how. So i do what i do best, i slap a smile on my face, distract myself - ignore. Ignore. Ignore. Ignore. Im not where i should be, and that kills me, but im relieved. Im relieved that i can be distracted, that i can smile, that i can steal away in other moments and not live in this one reality. Im relieved. Does that make me a bad person? Does that make me a bad granddaughter? Do you forgive me?
I keep wondering why i did not feel anything. Why when i woke up that morning, everything felt exactly the same, why it felt like just another day and how i got through it despite knowing. And i feel guilty for pushing everything away, i do. And i feel like i need to talk, but i dont want to. Because the more i say it, the more it hits me. So I hide. There are no right words.

And i feel so stupid for taking you for granted, for taking time for granted, for taking moments for granted. Just everything. Because the unexpected happens, the unexpected happens everyday. I just never expected it to happen to me. Who does? Can i continue living in my world of denial? Will they hate me?

But this is me trying, in my own way. And i know you need me but im not ready to deal with your loss when im dealing with mine. and i cant deal with mine if i deal with yours, because then i cant hide. and i want to hide. and i want to ignore. and i dont want to talk.

There are no right words.

So what do i say?
Im sorry i wasnt there.Im sorry i didnt get to say goodbye.

Now nothing's the same.

The down there lah

- Wednesday, February 03, 2010

So my sister emailed me last week telling me that her friend is involved in the production of 'The Vagina Monologues' and asked if i was interested in joining. I was like O.O but the email went a bit like this,

'Although the title of the production can be a bit of a shocker, there are a wide range of monologues to suit a wide range of women.'

and

'Have you been able to convince your sister to participate? It would be really great. Let her know she shouldn't be shy as every piece is not as provocative as the title may have you think and there was great feedback from last year!'

So i thought, okay, why not? =D and then i asked Suan if she would like to go too, and she was all okay, why not? =D too. Auditions was today. I didn't know how the audition scripts would be like (actually i wasnt sure how the auditions would be carried out at all) so when we were presented with several monologues we were to choose from, i was SHOCKED.

all the pieces were quite, hmmm. I mean, Suan and I are the kind of girls who wouldnt even say the word VAGINA on a normal basis. Im more likely to go,

'the y'know..'
'huh? what?'
'theeeree.. the YOU KNOOOOWWW'
'HUUUHH? i dont know'
'the down there lah'

I mean HONESTLY!! Most of the pieces i didnt know how i could present and i was nervous outta my guts. like OH NOES HOOOWW?? but i didnt want to back out. I was there, might as well just go ahead and do it. I chose the monologue,

'My Angry Vagina.'

which included the words,

VAGINA *duh*
PUSSY
VAGINA MOTHERFUCKERS
TAMPONS
(a dry wad of fucking cotton stuffed up there)

uhhuh. WAAAAY outta my comfort zone. But i did it and im proud of myself. Sure there was a bit of the whole didnt pronounce words properly cause i was nervous (read damn fast) and moving about but suan said i did good and i thought she did brilliant as well! She did a different piece, proud of her too, her FIRST time auditioning for anything EVERRR!! (my second, malam bakti auditions which sucked was my first)

The whole panel laughed when i said 'vagina motherfuckers' LOL suan said it sounded like a lil kid saying it. HAHAHHAA =.= I mean, im all about UNICORNS, MARSHMALLOWS, CANDY and OOOOOH LOOK RAINBOW!! and now im talking about my angry... down there lah.

Very. Different.

The girls who we auditioned for were really nice though, Suan and i went in together =) and after we were done, they were all 'that was brilliant! we'll be calling you girls very soon!' =D maybe they say that to everybody, BUT STILL. =D

Step by step,
just one foot in front of the other.

Repeat.

Child's Play